with a thankful heart

I've been feeling overwhelmingly thankful during this season of Thanksgiving. 

I always feel thankful this time of year, but something is different this year. 

I used to always say I was thankful for family, our home, our marriage, our kids...yadda yadda, the basics in life. {which I am still thankful for}

However, this year I am thankful for the things I fear.

Let me explain.

This past year has definitely been one of the hardest, most challenging years we have experienced. 1 year ago we still had our newborn baby in the nicu. That was a very hard thing, and you can read more about me reminiscing on that time here. So this year, I am thankful we went through having a nicu baby. I used to fear the thought of having a baby be admitted to the hospital. I know that I appreciate having healthy children even more now than I did last year. That experience taught me so much! This year Thanksgiving falls on the same day we brought Grayson home from the hospital exactly 1 year ago. What a great day it will be this year to celebrate having him home with us!

This year has also been one of Wesley's busiest years since starting medical school. He has worked with a different doctor each month since he started last fall. He has a new schedule every 4 weeks, and a new location to work. This has been exhausting. Not just for him, but for me emotionally. He had to work on Mother's Day and Halloween. Clearly they are not super important holidays, but not having him there for little celebrations is always tough. He has worked out of state for 2 and a half months total in the past 4 months. He has been so busy that I sometimes feel like a single Mom. I simply adore my husband. I would be with him all day, every day if I could. That is not an option, obviously, but if it was, I would have it that way! After this year, I have learned to be thankful! Thankful that we made it through. I cried when I learned he would be working out of state for almost 3 months. I was heart broken. I was scared to be home alone with the boys. I was afraid I would miss him so badly that it would hurt. I was afraid I wouldn't do a good job. I hate sleeping alone, and I have only been apart from him for 4 nights total in 5 years. Yet, I was so thankful. I was thankful for what Wes was doing to better his chances for a great job someday, and for him to be accepted into a good residency program. I am thankful that the time apart has made us appreciate and value our time together so much more. I have fallen more in love with Wes during our time apart. I realize how much we are one. When he is gone I don't feel like myself. We are definitely a union and need each other in this life that God has given us. 

One last thing I am thankful for is that we have to move. Yes, I am thankful for that. I am also terrified. I am a homebody, I love my family {who lives 5 minutes from me}, and I have never lived out of my little 4 mile radius. But I am thankful. I am thankful that we have the opportunity to experience life in a new place. We will join a new church, make new friends, live in a new home, have new neighbors, and make new memories. I have been praying like crazy that the Lord will send me an amazing friend where ever we go. I am surrounded by such great friends here at home, but when we move, I know that I have to make new friends. I am very outgoing, and making friends isn't hard for me. But I want to make a great friend. A best friend. {to my closest friends: I am not replacing you! Promise!} I want a friend who will love me and my family, challenge me in my faith, laugh with me, and someone who will be there for me when I need "family" since mine will be far away. It might sound silly, but I have been praying for this friend for a while now. I can't wait to see how the Lord works in our lives next summer as we pack up and move. 

What are you thankful for? Are you thankful for the things in your life that you were afraid of? I am so thankful that our life has been a whirlwind this year and I know the year ahead will be just as busy. But this is the life we have been given, and I will rejoice and be glad in it!

With a thankful heart- Day 3 & 4

With a Thankful Heart...

Today I am thankful for my home.

I am so thankful that Wes and I were able to buy a home when we were engaged, and we have been able to continue to afford it after so many of the changes in our lives.

I know there are days when I complain about the size, and how we don't have enough storage or closet space, but in reality, I am so thankful for this home. 

We have memories in this home that can never be replaced. We bought it before it was built, we chose everything we wanted in it, we have put hours of improvements into it, and it is ours.

This is the home we celebrated our first Christmas in as a married couple, it is the home we found out we were going to start a family in, the home we brought home our first child to, and the home we will soon have with 2 kids. 

It smells like us, looks like us, feels like us, and it is our home.

I know a home is a material thing, and yes, we would still be a family and be very content even if we didn't have this exact home. However today, even when it is not as clean as I would like it, this home I am thankful for. It brings us shelter and comfort, and we are so thankful the Lord provided this home for us when he did, and he has provided for us in the past few years to continue to be able to live here. 

We love our home, we love to share our home, and the doors are always open to anyone who wants to visit. 

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{I am 1 day behind, so to catch up, here is the day 4}

With a Thankful Heart...

Today I am thankful for medical school.

Wesley is half way through his 3rd year of medical school. After his 4th year, he will officially be a doctor. He has worked extremely hard these past 3 years, and I am so proud of the doctor he is becoming. I have never seen anyone study as much as he has in my entire life. He is dedicated to his studies, he wants to learn as much as he can, and he will be a great doctor. 

A reason I am so thankful for medical school is that it has taught me so much about my husband and about myself. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be as the wife of a med student. I have known for a very long time that we would be in for the long haul with Wesley's schooling, but I could not have prepared myself for the commitment it would become. The hours he has spent immersed in his studies is way more than I could have imagined. We've had to miss out of fun events because he had to study. We have had to give up a lot of our social time and date nights because of big exams. We have learned that in order to succeed in this career, we have to have delayed gratification. While we have friends who are starting their real jobs, buying new cars, and saving for their kids college, we are still living off of student loans, dreaming of what it will be like to have a paycheck someday, and praying our cars last a few more years before we can afford new ones. 

We are so thankful that Wes is so near to the end. We are thankful that he was able to go to a medical school 15 minutes from our home, and our families. We are thankful that Wesley has loved the field of medicine as much as he had hoped. We are thankful that in a few years Wes will be done with school, done with residency, and will be finally working in a job that he has worked so hard to get.

So today, {even on a day when I found out my husband will be working every day for the next 2 weeks} I am thankful for medical school. 

With a thankful heart- Day 2

With a Thankful Heart...

Today I am thankful for my Mom; my best friend.

Now, I know she is going to be so upset that I wrote a blog about her, {and I know she is already crying} but I could not forget about her in this month of reflecting on what I am thankful for.

If you know me on a personal basis, I am sure you also know my Mom. She is so involved in my life, and my family's life. She lives 2 miles from my house, which means if I call her, she will be at my door step in 5 minutes without any hesitation. She is the wife to my Dad, a Mom to my 3 sisters and I, Grammy to Camden and Grayson, sister to her 2 big brothers, daughter to her adorable parents, and "Grammy Laurie" to all of my friends kiddos. {Yes, she will adopt your kids as her grandkids in a heartbeat.} She loves to love people. 

Ok, so there are so many things about my Mom that I am thankful for. So let me see where to start....

I am thankful that she raised me to be the wife and Mom that I am today. She is my example of what a supportive, respectful, and loving wife should be. She loves my Dad without question, stands by him through all of life's trials, and respects him with her whole heart. She is also a HUGE example of what a great Mom should be. We have always said that some people dream of having a big career someday, living in their dream home, or traveling the world...well, my Mom's dream in life was to be a Mom. She married my Dad at the ripe age of 20, and started having kids when she was 21. After delivering 4 baby girls naturally {yes, she is also super woman}, she knew her dream was fulfilled. Her days were full of driving carpool, cheering on her little girls in anything they set their hearts to, hosting sleepovers, making food for 30 teenagers every week when they came to her home for youth group, shopping, handling boy drama, and teaching us to be women. 

After being a Mom for 23 years, she earned her right and became a Grammy. Let me tell you, her role as Grammy is just as important to her as being a Mom. She wants to be the best Grammy for her Grandchildren. 

After raising 4 girls, my Mom was a little unsure of how she was going to be with a little boy. Well, let's just say, being a Grammy to a boy is no problem at all!! She has taken to all things boy very well. She has perfected making car noises, she can run and crash just as hard as Camden, she is good at picking out "boy stuff", she loves to take Camden exploring, and she is always up for the challenge of feeding a very hungry boy. 

Camden adores his Grammy. The only problem is he can not say "Grammy". We have discovered he really doesn't say any words that start with the letter G. Even his little brother Grayson {coming soon} doesn't have a name to him. So what do you think he calls my Mom since he won't call her Grammy? He calls her "whos that?". Yes, as if he has no idea. He started doing that because any time she would come over we would say, "oh Camden, look who is here!" He would look and see her and we would say, "Cam, who is that?" He would then respond with "whos that?" So now, that is her official name. Not as endearing as Grammy, but at least he has a name for her I guess. 

I could go on and on about my Mom and how amazing she is in my life. She takes care of me when I am having a hard day {or stuck on bed rest for 2 weeks}, she loves my son, she is proud of me, she encourages me, she loves my husband as if he were her own son, she is the best shopping partner, she loves my friends, she always listens, we cry together, we laugh together, I can tell her anything, she has taught me to be a godly wife, and she is my best friend. I wish that everyone could experience having a Mom as wonderful as mine. I could not be more thankful that the Lord blessed me with a Mom like her.

I love you Mom, and I am so thankful to have a Mom like you. 

{PS: Mom, I am sorry you had to read a blog about yourself, I know you are crying and you are going to tell me I am in big trouble later...but that's ok, you deserve it}

With a thankful heart- Day 1

With a thankful heart...

I am thankful to still be pregnant!

Yes, I am sure that sounds a little crazy, but it is true. I have had a very hard pregnancy (for me) with a lot of pain, a lot of contractions, preterm labor, and bed rest. However, I am past what is considered full term, and I am still growing this sweet little baby inside of me. Although I wish I could have him this very second, I am thankful for every day that he is still inside of me to grow bigger, stronger, and healthier. 

My due date is about 2.5 weeks away, and I know with each day we get more excited, anxious, and ready to hold our sweet baby boy. 

Today, I am thankful that the Lord blessed me with this pregnancy, and that I was able to carry to full term. I choose to be thankful for this huge belly and I am choosing to not complain about the fact that I am still pregnant! 

What are you thankful for? I would love for you to join me in this 30 day challenge to reflect on what we are thankful for this month.

With a thankful heart

Today is already the 2nd day of November!!! This is definitely my favorite month of the year. I love the change in weather, the atmosphere of the holidays approaching, the cold mornings, and the early sunsets. But, aside from all of that, what I really love about this month is Thanksgiving. I have to say that this holiday is my favorite. I love that there is no money that has to be spent on other people, no crazy shopping trips, no funny characters, and no expectations except to spend quality time with family.

 In honor of Thanksgiving month, I want to spend time each day reflecting on what I am thankful for. Wes and I decided we are going to do this as a family, but I am also going to do this on my blog. We have a crazy month ahead of us, but I know if I can spend a few minutes a day focusing on what we are thankful for, it will be so great for my heart and my attitude. 

So join with me, and let's not forget about Thanksgiving! Spend time for the next 30 days (well 29, since I didn't post this yesterday) and reflect on what the Lord has done in your life, and the blessings we have been given.