::reminiscing::
When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, my new normal began. He was my focus and my joy. I spent each day being his Mom, and I was basically everything he needed. I was full of warmth, care, protection, love, kisses, his food, and the arms to hold him. Sure, Camden had his Daddy, but he didn't need him like he needed me. As he became a little older I learned to let go of some of my responsibilities because there were other people who could fulfill the role I thought was only mine.
When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, my new normal began. He was my focus and my joy. I spent each day being his Mom, and I was basically everything he needed. I was full of warmth, care, protection, love, kisses, his food, and the arms to hold him. Sure, Camden had his Daddy, but he didn't need him like he needed me. As he became a little older I learned to let go of some of my responsibilities because there were other people who could fulfill the role I thought was only mine.
I spent the first 5 months of Camden's life being the only one who fed him. He never had a bottle, and was dependent on me for each feeding he had. At 5 months I left a bottle with Wes so I could enjoy a night out with friends. It didn't go well. He fought the bottle for an hour and a half and when I walked in the door I have never seen 2 people so excited to see me.
At 6 months he began to eat. I made his food, but I wasn't the only one who could feed him. He didn't need me.
At 7 months he started learning to scoot and pull himself to what he wanted. He didn't need me to give him a toy out of reach, he could manage to get it himself.
Needless to say, around a year old, Camden started getting very independent. At 12 and a half months he started walking on his own. He didn't need me to hold his hand, he could do it by himself.
At 13 and a half months, we stopped nursing. It was a very tough thing to stop doing, mostly for me. It was the last thing I felt that I had, that only I could provide. I was the one who got up with him every morning for a feeding. I was the one who nursed and rocked him to sleep at night. Now, Wes could wake up with him, or put him to bed. I was no longer the sole provider.
This all sounds so sad, but it is so much a part of being a Mom and watching your kids grow up. I know that Camden is still very young, and yes, there are still so many things he needs me for. If he wants to step off a curb, he reaches up his hand for me to help him. If he needs a diaper change, I do it. When he wants a drink, I fill his sippy. When he wakes up sad, he wants to snuggle with me. If he is not feeling good, it is Mama that he wants.
The hardest part for me is that most of the time, he doesn't depend on me like he used to. There are so many days that I just miss our snuggle times when I would sit and nurse him all day. Or when I would just sit in his room and rock him and pray for him while he slept on my chest.
I love that he has become so independent. Somedays it is nice to just watch him play outside and not need me to hold him. Then there are times when I wish I could press rewind and go back to his early baby days.
I am so thankful to have another baby on the way to get to experience all of the joys of being a Mom all over again. I can't wait to nurse again, I can't wait to have a baby sleep on my chest, I can't wait to be the only thing our baby needs for the first few months. Being a Mom is very rewarding. I wouldn't change my life for anything. Even on the tough days, there is no other job in the world I would rather be doing.
At 7 months he started learning to scoot and pull himself to what he wanted. He didn't need me to give him a toy out of reach, he could manage to get it himself.
At 13 and a half months, we stopped nursing. It was a very tough thing to stop doing, mostly for me. It was the last thing I felt that I had, that only I could provide. I was the one who got up with him every morning for a feeding. I was the one who nursed and rocked him to sleep at night. Now, Wes could wake up with him, or put him to bed. I was no longer the sole provider.
This all sounds so sad, but it is so much a part of being a Mom and watching your kids grow up. I know that Camden is still very young, and yes, there are still so many things he needs me for. If he wants to step off a curb, he reaches up his hand for me to help him. If he needs a diaper change, I do it. When he wants a drink, I fill his sippy. When he wakes up sad, he wants to snuggle with me. If he is not feeling good, it is Mama that he wants.
The hardest part for me is that most of the time, he doesn't depend on me like he used to. There are so many days that I just miss our snuggle times when I would sit and nurse him all day. Or when I would just sit in his room and rock him and pray for him while he slept on my chest.
I love that he has become so independent. Somedays it is nice to just watch him play outside and not need me to hold him. Then there are times when I wish I could press rewind and go back to his early baby days.
I am so thankful to have another baby on the way to get to experience all of the joys of being a Mom all over again. I can't wait to nurse again, I can't wait to have a baby sleep on my chest, I can't wait to be the only thing our baby needs for the first few months. Being a Mom is very rewarding. I wouldn't change my life for anything. Even on the tough days, there is no other job in the world I would rather be doing.
Although I feel like the baby stage is over with Camden, he wil always be my baby, my first born, and my baby who made me a Mommy. He is my joy and being his Mom is the greatest blessing in the world.
3 comments:
Don't you just love having a boy? You said it all so well Moriah, I have all those same feelings about my first boy! You'll get Cam's affection again. Near the end of my second pregnancy and once King was born Enoch became more affectionate towards me than he's ever been! It's one of the greatest things in the world when all he wants to do is have ME hold him so he can lay his head on my shoulder, ah.....
I wish I could express myself as well as you do! I seriously got teary eyed. What a blessing that little boy of yours is! I can't wait to see your new little bundle of joy!
I might have just cried.
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